Past due

Well it's been months since i was on here,been busy or just played out.Lot's have changed with my boy since i was on here last.I bragged and bragged about my boy not going threw those terrible 2's,so much i think it came back and bit me on my butt..My son is now hitting the terrible 3's!From taking the fits,kicking, to talking back,you name it, it's here.It doesn't happen often,but it has started.He has hated to go to bed for awhile now,and uses every excuse to stay up..When in bed,he starts from,I'm hungry,i need to poop,my belly hurts,im scared,i need a drink ect ect,and sometimes uses all of them...He now has a night light and his door stays open a crack,this seemed to help in the beginning but slowly is getting old and he is now trying and wanting different things to stay up..lol.It can be soo frustrating and tiresome sometimes,but not for long...It than hits me that i have waited soo long to go threw these things with my own child and time flys sooo fast..I take the good with the bad(and there is always more good than bad)and always laugh after..My son is such a good boy with a huge heart and is full of compassion.So the terrible 3's really are not soo terrible..He surprises us almost everyday with the things he says and does,and sometimes can be even smarter than us(wouldnt take much,lol).He has been such a hand full going to bed yelling for something different about 100 times after he is in bed.So one night i said no yelling tonight Jonathan right?He said yes Mama..I was so tired that day,and mins after he went to bed,he yelled Mommy Mommy..I went in with a stern voice and said what Jonathan???He is my batteries died in my fish(his night light).I said and still in a stern voice ok lay down i will go get some batteries.Than i came back in the room put the batteries in and kissed him again and said good night.He said Mama?Are you angry?I said no Buddy just tired.He said because i didn't cry or yell,the batteries just died in my fish?My heart dropped and he was right.I kissed his little cheeks and said i love you and went out of the room,he didn't yell again.Than as i was sitting at the computer,thinking about losing my patience and what he had said.I wanted to go in and say sorry...But thought maybe i shouldn't, he might wake back up and things will start all over again.But i couldn't stand it,i went in and he sat up and said what Mama??I went over to him and kissed him and said i was sorry for being grumpy and that i loved him..As i got up to leave and started to close his door a bit,my 3 year old son sits back up and says Mama??I said yes?He said thank you....OMG..I felt better and didn't hear from him again till morning.The other day Steve was outside cutting the bushes and than soo did Jonathan.In a low voice i said to Steve,you know someone wants to be just like you(without saying Jonathan's name)Jonathan than speaks up from no where and says yes Daddy because i love you very much!OMG again,than the tears came again,lol.Still no luck in a sibling for Jonathan and breaks my heart each and EVERYDAY..My son is such a lucky boy and wants for nothing..But you know you could bring Disney to him and he wouldnt even care unless he had someone there to play with him...And that's what kills me..I watch him in the back yard playing by himself, singing and talking to himself,and i feel soo guilty..I play with him all the time and he loves it however i can't all day long.I see pics posted on facebook ect with 2 kids together in the tub,Christmas and it makes me sad.....To be honest i don't miss the baby days,the poop,sleepless nights,all the stuff you have to bring with you just to go get loaf of bread..lol..I want this baby not for me,Steve,but for my boy,everything is for my boy..We have not given up hope just yet but feel my time is running out..Fingers crossed.....Everything is crossed..