funny how things change...

Since i was little i always wanted to have children,1 or 2.Whenever anyone ever asked me what i wanted to be or do in life,it was to be a mom,everything else was just a bonus.However i must say before having Jonathan i found myself more drawn to animals,if i seen a baby or a puppy i would run to the puppy.Funny how things change.Now every small child i see,i like to talk to them or relate them to Jonathan.Jonathan has that shirt,or Jonathan would love that hat,or wow she is big for her age,ect.Every week at work this man comes in with these sweet 2 little girls,close to Jonathan's age,i would say around 2 and 3 with long red hair and full of energy!I think of Jonathan every time i see them because 1 has a plug(soother)and the other carries a blanket,my son uses both..lol..It's soo cute how he comes in every week with this big double stroller and these busy little girls.I often wonder is he a single Dad,widow,or maybe just a stay at home Dad while the Mom is out working?I have never seen anyone with him each week.I often give the girls suckers when they come in and they like to pick which color.This week was a different kind of week when they came in.I noticed only 1 in the stroller and he was carrying one.The one he was carrying was lying her head on him clinging to her blanket,and looking at me with red circles under her little eyes and all her hair was gone...........I didn't know what to do,say, or how to react,i was honestly hoping someone else would wait on them this week,my emotions were taking over and tried so hard not to cry or to make an excuse to run to the bathroom.Just last week there were 2 little girls running around giggling,laughing.I could only once again just think of my boy..Wondering how that father felt,what he was going threw.Wondering what kind of horrible sickness that sweet girl had.He was next in line,and i got him...I smiled,he smiled,we made small talk.I tried to carry on as per usual,but couldnt get him out of there fast enough to find myself in the bathroom,taking beep breaths and trying to pull myself together for the rest of the day.They were on my mind all day.I will not take 1 day for granted with my son,even when he is bouncing off the walls or when he is licking my clean windows,i will play with him everyday and tell him everyday.....I LOVE YOU.